I just need to ramble and ask for prayers for
clarity.
Warning: this will be long.
I have always toyed with the idea of becoming a
flight attendant. I had kids so young, so thought when my kids get older...yada
yada yada. Bam. Mentioned it to a friend who is a flight attendant and she said
-- AA is hiring. I wavered. When my daddy was in the hospital, I researched it
and on a whim,with his encouragement, filled out the ap. After reading and researching, it takes
months and even a year or more sometimes to get an interview or "Thanks
But No Thanks" answer, so I wasn't really concerned. Kadi is moving into
senior year next year, and after she goes to school would be my goal timewise.
On the way home from dad's funeral, I was catching up on emails, and I received
an email from AA the day of his funeral requesting a video interview. I took
that as a sign. When we got home, I submitted the interview and literally was
awful. You get 3 min to answer each question, I took 30 sec. Insane. I told
Brian, "well, I can give up on this dream." Following day, Bam,
again. I got a face to face interview invite in Dallas. They flew me in and out
in a day. After researching, if you get moved into fingerprinting, you got the
job. I was advanced all the way to fingerprinting. I felt alive thinking about
it. The last question was, "how does your family feel about you uprooting
them for this job." WHAT?!?!? I answer, "well I'm not selling our
family home. They will stay in Nebraska, I will get an apartment, and when I
have multiple days off, I will go see them." Claudia, the interviewer,
changed demeanors immediately, slammed her folder, and lamented, “that is
commuting and we are not looking for commuters.” WHAT?!?! Everyone commutes. I knew immediately I was walking out without the job. I was not moving my family! Everyone reassured me, “you got
fingerprinted, though.” Regardless, I was not working for them.
Then relieved as I realized they don’t have a
base in Houston. I could work for United
and be based in Houston where my mom lives and see her regularly. I applied to every airline that flew into Omaha and had Houston as a base option. I filled out an application for United Airlines first that evening, and immediately received the request for a video interview, and
very quickly the invitation for a face to face.
I was getting good at this. I
flew to Houston to interview on their dime and enjoyed a long visit with my
mother. The interview process was
similar, yet different. And again, after
researching, I knew I was passing one part and moving on to the next very
nicely. This was good. Bam.
“Tell me about yourself.” I
learned that I cannot tell anyone about myself without telling about my
family. It is who I am. Fear paralyzed me. I didn't want to be anyone without my family.
I ponder this on the way home. I started this search because I have lived everything in my life
for the good of my family, and now when they are all busy, elsewhere, I am
home. Alone. Empty.
I miss them. I began this as a
mission to find myself, live out some dreams, and see my mother who is in a
nursing home in Houston regularly. I
began this process to find something to fill my time while seeking adventure,
and then coming home with long days off.
It would have been perfect. I was
jealous that my friends were being hired, yet I was so confused and wavering in my decision if this was really something I wanted to do.
Meanwhile, I had been praying through the
entire process, for God’s will. I had
to accept that it was not his will, and I began to agree that the timing was
completely wrong. If I was 100% honest,
while I wanted to get the job (I had never before interviewed for a job that I
had not been offered), I was not excited about flying off while kids were still
at home. The opportunities were coming quicker than I had wanted. I had jumped the gun a bit on
my plan, though I was still alone, lost, and bored at home. I began to look locally for the answer. I reached out to a friend who put me in touch with someone for volunteering. I went that night to
purchase new clothes, and got caught up in a conversation about my weight loss, and by the end, the
lady said, “you need to work here one or two days a week.”
I was beginning to feel good. I had secured a volunteer opportunity on
Tuesday afternoons and had a part time job Thursday and Friday mornings at my
favorite store. All in one day. I relayed this to Brian, as I checked my
email, and ….. Oh, no.
I forgot I had applied to those other
airlines. Both had emailed me while I
was playing dress up. I had an
invitation to interview the following day in Lincoln for one, and an invitation
to interview in Denver at the end of the month for the other. That was easy. It was on my dime, and I had decided timing
was off. Brian advised me to go to
Lincoln, Kadi was nannying until 10:30 and he would be at a dinner meeting, so
if nothing else, go for the experience.
If you get it, it was meant to be.
If not, at least you weren’t home alone for the evening. He had a point.
I went.
It was nice. I would know in 14
days. April 14th. From talking to everyone, it takes the entire
14 days. I don’t think about it.
My family does though. Kerri said, “its my last summer at home.”
Kadi said, “mom, go for it! It’s the
summer before my senior year, but I want you to do it.” Cole said….
I’m not sure he had an opinion one-way or the other. Brian said, “whatever you want to do, I am
behind you.”
I feel good at the things I have lined up in
Omaha. I am looking forward to opening
the pool. Spending time this summer with
the girls after their nanny jobs are through.
Bam. Email today. April 10th as soon as the house
got quiet from the awesome weekend with everyone home. Congratulations! I got the job! WHAT?!?!
Do I accept it?
I have 48 hours to let them know.
I start my volunteer in 10 days.
I started my part time clothing job last week before last. I have only worked 3 days. I want to fly, but I don’t want to miss a
thing at home. HELP! I need prayers for clarity. Any thoughts?
