Fall Funk or Funky Fall

Running on Coffee and Jesus
#doormat

Tis the season…..

Of Fall.  To Fall.

One of the many things I love about Nebraska is our 4 seasons, and  I am asked all of the time, “what is your favorite?”  I. Don’t. Know. 

If Christmas was a season, it would be Christmas.  But mostly they are referring to the 4 seasons.  Spring.  Summer.  Fall.  Winter.  Probably Fall.  After all, look around.  GORGEOUS!

As I scan the perimeters of my home, I have a host of trees each representing a color of the rainbow — literally all 6 colors plus a few variations.  It is gorgeous.  

The irony hasn’t been lost on me.  October 21-26 is in the fall.  One of the hardest weeks of my life for as long as I can remember.  

According to Webster, “Fall means to descend freely.”  And, it is this time that I normally fall into  (to go down quickly; to sink inward) what I call “a funk.”  I got it from my mama.  I hope my kids don’t get it from me, but chances are, they might.  Sometimes I talk about it; other times, I just wallow in my own private hell.  Sometimes I write about it; sometimes I …. sink inward.  Knowing this about myself, however, has become powerful.

Growing up, my mother didn’t really talk about the reason this time of year was hard.  I would always hear stories from other family members about going to see my dad in the hospital, who took me, and what I was wearing.  I heard my Nana singing the song I sang, over and over on my way.  I can still hear her in the sing-song voice.  I recall waving from the parking lot at him peering out his hospital window.  It is one of the two memories I have of him.  (The other is receiving a switching all the way from the highway to the house when I got away from them in the yard.) I heard stories of who watched me for long stretches of time while my mother was living her own hell and then the story of my dad passing into the kingdom of heaven on October 21st, with my mama curled up beside him in his hospital bed.  They were so young.  23 and 24.  Babies I would call them now.  I would hear stories of swinging on Ms Pete’s front porch the day of the funeral while the procession passed. I waved at my daddy for the final time.  I was two years old. 

One fall morning in 1988, I was dressing for school on a very important day for several reasons.  I would soon be taking the TASP test that would determine if I was college material or if I would need remedial classes to ready me.  To this date in my life, it was the most important test. It was also homecoming weekend. I had the most gorgeous mum from a high school boyfriend, a beautiful, but sensible formal gown for the dance, and the utmost excitement for the weekend.  I hear the scream.  My mother was screaming out to my uncle through the telephone.  I knew exactly what, “No, Danny, No,” meant.  She didn’t said anything.  Not a word.  She acted normal, albeit her normal funk for this time of the year.  

I completed the hours long test before anyone else because I didn’t read one passage.  How I passed, I will never know.  (Yes, I do., know.  I’m Jesus’ favorite!)   Friday, October 26th, I walked the long corridor of our locked down hallway, and opened the loud clanking door to find the guidance counselor, my mother and a friend waiting.  Only then, I officially got the news that I already knew.  My “Fanny” had passed away.  I was suffocating.  The grief.  On. Top. Of. The.  Guilt. The emotions were enormous.  She had been in the hospital.  My mother had needed to go, but she would stay to try to provide a stable week for me because of this silly test and homecoming.  We left immediately for the 3 hour drive.  I rode, while she drove in complete silence.  The radio softly playing, though neither of us actually heard anything.  Not until Cinderella starting singing quietly, “Don’t Know What You Got (Til It’s Gone), and the tears began falling again.  The favorite song of the week now took on a different context, and one that would stay with me for a lifetime.  I don’t hear that song today without remembering that drive and that guilt.  

For years I wasn’t really conscious of this week, until it was over and I was trying to figure out what was wrong and pull myself out of the funk for my own children.  Now, I somewhat embrace it and plan for it.  Some years, I sink in and hermit.  Some years I work really hard not to do that and throw myself into a task (mostly the football years).  I have bought my last 3 cars during this time — that makes me happy. I usually attack self help or awareness programs during this time when I sink inwards and escape from society.  I focus on weight loss this time of year.   It’s easier because I don’t care to get out and about.  Vacation would be a perfect escape, however, my husband prefers to be hunting.  He actually escapes me!   I think he got tired of my weepy self; lucky him. 

Fall is the time of year I can go weeks without doing my toes or shaving my legs.  Even days without washing my hair and applying makeup.  I stay home as much as I can, so it doesn’t really matter.  But is it healthy?  I’m not sure.  Physically or Mentally?  It’s all so confusing.  But projects help. Maybe.

This year, I am tackling decluttering. Walking in my home, one wouldn’t likely think it is cluttered.   My Nana  always told me, never let your house get so out of sorts, that you can’t pick it up for company in 30 minutes.  For the most part, this has always held true for me. Except.  Laundry is my hell. And, once you open a closet or cabinet, duck! My table is decorated, the floor vaccumed, and things have a place.  Shoes might be strewn about or jackets and backpacks thrown on the floor.  Again, I can chunk those in a closet, quickly.  I admire those with minimalist lifestyles.  Is that learned trait or a born characteristic?  Nevermind.  I will never be a minimalist.  I love things that make me happy. 

In my quest of decluttering, I have tackled 3 cabinets and one linen closet successfully.  I have many, many more to go. I have pulled out totes from my storage room to better organize memorabilia, and made the biggest mess.  It sometimes gets uglier before it gets better.  It is so hard to know what to throw away and what to keep.  If I throw it away, I will find a need next week.  If I keep, I won’t remember where I put it.  Why is this so difficult?  One word.  A.D.D.

So, I have decided to turn to professionals.  But first, I need to declutter enough for them to help me declutter and organize.  It’s like cleaning for the cleaners to come. I must turn to my past and dig out my POWER HOUR training.  I learned this from the one and only Belinda Ellsworth back in the day when I was busy building a thriving home business.  One solid hour.  No messing about (In my best Len Goodman voice).  15 minutes each task.  laundry. clean a cabinet. empty a drawer. organize contents.  I will keep decluttering my way out of this funk this year, and soon it will be time to decorate for Christmas!  My happy, happy time!  

‘til then…Send me your best decluttering tips! ;)

Kerri Lee Ann

Twenty One. Crazy!

Twenty-one years ago, Mimi and Cole waved goodbye as Daddy and I pulled out of the driveway to head to Lubbock.  It was the day we were going to meet our little girl.  I was beginning to be a pro at cars, monsters and dinosaurs, but how would I handle dolls, tea parties and dress up?  And, at the same time?!?

We checked in around 7am and things went pretty quick this time around.  Because the epidural didn’t take well with Cole, we decided on a spinal block.  By 8:36am, we met our sweet Kerri Lee Ann Carleton.  6 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long.  And such a beauty!   It was so quick, Mimi missed it because Cole stole her cigarettes and hid in his tent.  Now, that was a funny story!  Oh, he was a ring tail tooter, but once he saw you, his heart melted.  He became your protector instantly.  And boy did you enjoy having him wrapped around your little finger. 

It was always an adventure and you definitely kept me on my toes.  For every foot in front of me Cole was, you were two feet behind me, lolly gagging around, enjoying the scenery.  You were fascinated by people watching, flowers (or weeds), and just stuff.  You took everything in.  In true fashion, you would “stop and smell the roses.”  We all could learn from you.  You had such a compassion for people and were so kind, yet you had a sneaky mean streak.  You loved to pinch Kadi’s toes to make her cry and then play innocent, blaming Cole. It was amazing to me as lackadaisical as you seemed, you were not.  You were such a hard worker, a people pleaser, and always put others first.  You were a middle child.  And with that came responsibility and hardship to which you handled with grace and beauty.  You, my sweet Kerri, are amazing.  

Growing up, teachers always complemented you on your attitude and sweet disposition.  I remember in second grade, you would walk into the classroom and say, “this is going to be the best day ever!”  And you would make it the best day ever for everyone around you!  You worked hard for your grades, in elementary, middle and high school, and mostly recently college!  I’m so proud of your attentiveness to your grades and responsibilities.  

The stories always come up about your communication skills.  Mimi and Granda being so frustrated because they didn’t know what you were saying, and then Cole to the rescue.  “Granda, she wants a cracker!”  Your dad called grandpa and was really concerned about you not talking.  He said, “son, don’t worry.  She will talk when she is ready and then you won’t get her to shut up.”  Oh so true.  When you are excited about something, boy!  You can rattle on and on about it.  I love witnessing your excitement about things.  

21 years ago when I first met you and began to have hopes and dreams for you, imagining the kind of toddler, child, teenager, and adult you would be, I didn’t even dream high enough!  You have far exceeded all my hopes and dreams.  You are such a special young adult and I am so honored and privileged to be your mama.  

I always said I wanted to raise my children to be great decision makers, independent and brave enough to chase your dreams.  You, sissy,  are destined for greatness!  My advice for you at 21 is the same as it was when you graduated — Always believe in yourself, stay true to your heart, be open to new experiences, continue making good choices, forgive others and yourself, chase   your dreams, and remember to find treasures in the little things of life! And above all else, remember you are loved!

Happy 21st Birthday, Kerri Lee Ann Carleton!

In the Beginning

Brian and I became engaged on September 11, 1992.  I remember feeling excitement, fear, and anxiety all in one breath.  This was the first big decision I made without consulting my mother first.  I recall saying, “yes, but let’s not tell anyone!”  HA!  I honestly wanted to ask my mother’s permisson.  Wow, how times have changed!  

Our 10 month engagement was packed full of life changing events.  My step-dad turned 50 the very next weekend (which is when Brian asked for his blessing), Brian graduated from Texas Tech, Brian scored his first big-boy job at Louis Dreyfus in Fort Worth and we found a cute little house with a yellow kitchen really close to the Hulen Mall.  We were ready!  But this blog really isn’t about us, so keep reading!

The silly ugly couch we moved & me
probably talking to my mom on phone.

I remember the call.  It was May 21st, mid morning.  “Good Morning!”  to which he replied, “are you sitting down?”  After graduation on May 15th, Brian pulled out of Lubbock with a horse trailer full of his furniture headed to the Throckmorton ranch.  My mom and I headed to Marshall.  Brian flew out of Fort Worth on the 16th for an orientation week in Kansas City.  The plan would be on May 22, Brian’s parents would pull the trailer to Fort Worth and meet me and my parents and Brian to move Brian’s things into our new house we would share after we were married.  That was the plan.  Except I got the “are you sitting down call.”  

“Yes, I’m sitting down.” 

“I have to report to work in McGehee, Arkansas, Monday morning.”

“ok, baby, thats fine.  We can get everything moved in.  Don’t worry about it.”

“I don’t think you understand.”

“yea, it will be fine.  Our dads can handle the heavy lifting.  Mom and I will clean.  Your mom will organize.  We can get everything done without you. No worries.  Go do what you have to do.”

“No, I report to work in McGehee. Permanently.”

Huh?  “I don’t understand.  Our house is in Fort Worth.  That was the deal.  Half way between Throckmorton and Marshall.  Texas! Perfection.  Where in the heck is McGehee?” I definitely did not understand.

Brian's parents, Brian & Bud
in front of McGehee home. 

McGehee, Arkansas.  The company provided housing for Brian until we were married in July and bought a cute little 1100 square foot home on Paul Circle.  I made friends with a couple of gals in Brian’s office and one helped me get a job at the First National Bank as a teller.  Her dad was the President.  Everyone who worked at the bank was old!  At least 30. HAHA  Except 2 guys.  Jim and Matt.  They were my friends  even thought they made fun of me for being a “city girl” from Marshall, Texas!  Is that not the funniest thing you have heard?  

One day, Brian came to bring me lunch, or just come say hi.  I can’t remember.   It was a quick visit.  Afterwards, Matt strolled across the lobby asking, “was that your husband?”  “yes.” “well, hell, he ain’t nothing but a country boy.  I could be friends with him.  Y'all come to dinner tonight and watch football.”    After back and forth banter about asking him if he made sure it was ok with his wife, etc, he assured me it was fine.  I had never met her, but they had stopped by to ask for a corkscrew once.  She stayed in the truck, and I had no idea what a corkscrew was and was certain we didn’t have one.  (I was so city…..  psssh) We showed up for dinner.  Not only had he not asked his wife, he had not even mentioned it.

And, so our story began.  Sherrie Kay and I cleaned her kitchen so we could cook dinner together.  We found it was easier for 2 people to clean and cook in one kitchen than us clean and cook in our own.  We cooked and cleaned more together in our time in McGehee than we did on our own.  Literally nearly every night.  I still can’t cook chicken fried steak without thinking of McGehee.  90210 nights were pizza nights.  Lunches were take out or grill cheeses and soup.  Vacations, or weekend aways were made for 4 instead of 2.  Sweet Sydney, who didn’t care for men much, took to Brian and I like we were her aunt and uncle. She felt just as comfortable at my house as she did at her own - comfortable enough to spill red fingernail polish on the carpet!  We got it all out, no worries!  We alternated deep cleaning each others houses; today, my house-tomorrow, yours.  We were always together.  Pregnant with Layne and Cole, we even scheduled our OB appointments together in Pine Bluff.   I don’t have many memories in McGehee without Matt and SK.  And then the call came, “are you sitting down?” And my time in McGehee was over.  

Fun Get-a-ways!  

But not the friendship.

Limo Ride for SK birthday!
What is it they say? Low Quality picture/High Quality Friendship?

Mexico, Cruises, and New Orleans!

Every move Brian and I made, came with a  visit from the Mile’s or a vacation alongside them.  We raised our boys together , yet in separate states and basically by telephone.  And then our girls.  There were very few homes we lived in they didn’t visit.  And we tried to make visits back to McGehee. Our kids didn’t really get to know each other until later in life (because lets face it, we preferred adult get-a-ways), though they were all raised knowing the specialness of our families friendship.  In the awkward late elementary and middle school. ages, we worried about the young girls getting along.  It was awkward.  Not for long.  They out grew that!  Knowing when push came to shove the Carleton kids would have the Miles kids back and vice versa.  

Everyone deserves a Sherrie Kay in their life.  Someone who answers, listens and shows up.  Someone who is there everytime you get the, "are you sitting down" call!  This sweet friend has driven hours to be at my side during my moms stroke, my dad’s death, and just bad days.  My time beside her were at more joyous times — weddings!  And so fun!  It was a treat getting a front row seat to my sweet Sydney’s joyous occasion and watching her become a mother.  And, of course Layne’s wedding!  

Layne and Ryane welcomed their sweet son Luke, and at the urging of Ryane’s mother, entered Luke in a contest.  Thus all my sharing on Facebook!  Only 5 more days to vote, so please join me in sharing and voting!  

click here to vote!

Today and everyday I celebrate this sweet friend of mine. Let's be honest.  I cried learning about McGehee, Arkansas.  It started so lonely, not knowing anyone and Brian working such long hours.  What I thought was the most terrible thing to happen to me, gave me one of the BEST people in my life!  Here’s to waiting for the next Miles/Carleton vacation!  Don't forget to click here to vote!

Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018!

Oh.  I got it right!  2018!  I’ve been saying 2008, and my kids have been having to correct me!  Definitely two thousand and late, if I thought it was 8! Just roll your eyes, and move along!  

2017 was a year for the books!  I honestly don’t even know where to start.  

Kadi finished high school this year.  Yes, my baby, which means Brian and I are empty nesters.  She finished strong, earning full rides to several colleges.  In the end, she chose University of Nebraska and began in the fall, rooming with a friend from high school.  She did go through sorority recruitment, and like her college decision, it was tough.  Back and forth.  I think she got her decision making skills from her mama!  She is a Gamma Phi Beta.  She enjoys it and is mostly looking forward to getting her own little sis.  She has already been shopping for her!  In true Kadi fashion, she finished her first semester with a strong GPA (even with 3 science classes with labs) and typical of most college freshmen, has changed end goals.  She is thinking she may skip pre-med.  She enjoyed a little Nebraska football, a few fraternity parties, sorority formals, and a whole lot of fun! She has a sweet boyfriend, Ethan, and I think she keeps him hopping!

Kerri is gearing up to finish her last semester and 2017 brought her lots of excitement.   Kerri traveled to Uganda this summer for her internship, and a great father/daughter trip to the Cayman's to SCUBA dive.  She has made life long friends within her sorority, Kappa Delta, and her major, Global Resource Systems.  When talking about either of them, she gets so excited just as she did in the second day when she would announce, “This is going to be the best day ever!”  I love her zest for life!  She enjoys Iowa State Football, formals, and low key evenings with her boyfriend, Jacob.  She spends a lot of time in the library, studying and tutoring and has recently found she enjoys classes such as yoga and pilates at the rec center.  Kerri and Jacob ended 2017 watching Iowa State play in the Liberty Bowl in Memphis Tennessee!  They adopted a kitten together, but since her landlord doesn’t allow pets, Stevie lives with Jacob and about about 6 PIKE’s.  Poor kitten doesn’t have a chance.  I’m so proud of her for finishing her degree in 3 years.  

Cole moved again!  A real chip off the old block!  Like father like son.  All the cliches are true.  2017 had him living in Nebraska, Idaho, and now Tennessee.  He still works for Gavilon as a Grain Superintendent, and moves where they need him.  Sound familiar?  He started the year in Fremont and soon was transferred to Burley, Idaho.  He made some good friends, joined a country club, and golfed every chance he got.  He and his daddy have a goal to golf in every state.  They are making the way through them!  We also loved to simply visit our son and explore the beautiful scenery. Breathtaking, the falls and the mountains. We had Christmas plans in Idaho, but by that time, Cole lived in New Johnsonville, Tennessee, on the river.  It is a bit smaller than he is accustom, but I have no doubt he will have friends soon.  Nashville is only an hour and a half away.  How fun! Cole’s kitten is doing well and not as shy.  

Brian still works for Gavilon as their VP of operations.  He still enjoys hunting and fishing; he bought a boat and spent quite a bit of time hunting.  He packed into the mountains to elk hunt with friends.  I still work for Skywest, flying for Delta, American, United, and Alaska (mostly Delta).  Look for me when you fly!  If you follow me on snapchat, you get tons of cloud pictures!  My mom is still in Houston, and Carol and Howard still in Tishomingo.  We visit when time allows!  Our Christmas card was taken in Oklahoma at thanksgiving.  I was remembering all the past thanksgivings in Tishomingo and found a few of the past Christmas cards from the ranch.  Fun times.  Time marches on, though.  

We added ornaments to our travel Tree this year:  Ole Red Tishomingo (Blake's new venue), Another Hawaii, another New York, another Cayman,  Punta Cana, Canada, Indianapolis, Memphis, Nashville, California.  Kadi Brian and I are the only ones who really travelled.  The other kids just wanted to come home when they had free time.  I'm ok with that.  

Hello 2018.  

2018 will be fun!  Brian and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage!  Kerri graduates and we plan to take a family trip somewhere to celebrate (its been a couple of years).  She will begin job hunting and will take the GRE this summer to look at Grad school.  Kadi will get her GPHI little. You can also spot her in the audience of the VOICE this upcoming season!  Sometimes we will be over by Adam, and sometimes we will be right behind Alicia Keyes.   Cole will enjoy his new responsibilities of caring for a yard and pool, living the life of a working man and bachelor. (I should nominate him for that show!)  I tell my kids often, I may not be the best mother, but I promise I’m not the worst.  If our ability as parents can be measured by our kids successes, we did pretty darn good! As difficult as #teamemptynester is, it is fun watching your kids build their lives.  

We plan to take several trips this year, and I will try to blog them!  I know I say that every year, but …….  Breathe just in case!    

addition: I just realize, I posted most of the info in this already.  Sorry! Here are a couple of photos from years past Christmas cards -- in Tishomingo and at the chuck wagon at the ranch in Connersville, Ok. 

2015 - the tree in the background they cut down this year 

2000

2002

2004